Doctor Our Master

Glympses of 'The Catalyst'

While reading the above work on Doctor, as I passed through the pages I had undergone varying moods, feelings, emotion and sensation. Those disciples that have read the book couldn’t have but to encounter such mental reactions as they are all ever drenched in the thought of Doctor .Such is his impact! I refer to this book time and again as I get some kind of satisfaction of being with my beloved! Besides, this kindles melancholy and nostalgia in me that I wish to cherish.

As such, I would like to highlight some passages from the book and corresponding reactions in me so as to take you to those areas and I hope you will enjoy /pass through similar feelings.

Those That I Learnt: (excerpts)

‘The guru is absolutely responsible of the happenings which are worthwhile in the life of the chela –all that the chela has to do is to allow himself to be led and to do the master’s bidding in total faith, come what may. This is the acid test’

‘After a lot of deliberation, I introduced one more law into this code of conduct and, that recognized Doctor’s authority to supercede all other verdicts.’

‘A perfectly cut and polished diamond would appear like a lump of clay if it were to lie covered in slush. I wanted to tell them they were beautiful inside, but their beauty would become patent only when they placed themselves in apposition to Doctor not otherwise, for he was the main chord of the symphony, and the maestro too’. ‘Much later I was to know that TRUTH cannot be spoon-fed. One has to struggle for it like a drowning man struggling for fresh air and one has to discover it on one’s own. Then alone will he know its worth and then alone will he cherish it. Not otherwise. One has to stand naked before god so that he may receive from Him in absolute humility the celestial robe and then alone will the robe sit well on him.’

‘What cannot be cured has to be endured ‘-says the adage .But Doctor endured what he could have cured in a second by his will. Thus he taught his disciples to endure without giving in. He taught them to speak the truth even if they were to walk on fire, for they had his word that even in fire he would not forsake them.’

‘The spiritual master, when he accepts a disciple, takes upon himself the task of delivering the disciple from the cycle of birth and death. “And I will do it by hook or crook”, says Doctor.’

“I am like an umbrella”, He says. “Under my protection you can stop wherever you want. Every spiritual institution is like a tent. Each of them offers protection but none of them will walk with you. You can rest your tired head beneath any one of them. But if you want to keep moving, then come with me, now that I am here. Protected, you shall reach the goal.”

‘Beneath his umbrella he collected the tired beings that had waited for him with parched lips and sunken eyes, for the thirst shall be quenched only by the Father. The masters show the way; the Father too sometimes descends, taking the role of the Master to reveal himself.’

‘He caused –Doctor caused causes that turned the course of events in the lives of his disciples, negotiating the hairpin bends and zig zag turns with utmost ease and dexterity, deviating them from the abysmal fate that awaited them in the normal course of their lives. Many of them do not even know what they have escaped and how they were spared, for, my lord and Master, the Son of Man, has suffered for them in proxy and in his compassion buried his sufferings in silence.’

‘Illusion is the veil that prevents us from seeing the Truth. Enlightened men pierce the veil of illusion and allow the light of Truth to shine through it. But the strands of illusion are so organized and innovative, that they quickly weave around this tear a suitable pattern of myriad hues, that the patch of light that shines through the hole looks like an inherent part of the veil. Truth which is of a different dimension apparently merges with the veil of illusion adorning it here and there with its golden radiance.

Truth is singular and every time a hole is made in the veil of Maya (illusion), it is that singular truth that shines forth. But, each time, it is camouflaged with a different pattern and a different colour scheme and as time passes on, there is more and more weave around it, that the nucleus becomes insignificant and unnoticeable. It is the weave, it is the pattern that catches the eye and holds the interest of the unrefined ego that traps the soul. Illusion continues to reign supreme, projecting on itself more and more of untruth, captivating and entertaining its victims. Around Truth it weaves a religion and between religions, it weaves a difference and the difference, it heightens with bright colours and the poor man is unable to take his eyes off the bewitching colours –He is caught, until yet another pierce is made in the veil of Maya (illusion) by the enlightened, that he may realize the dimension of Truth before Maya closes in.

Illusion breeds in grammar, whereas Truth makes and breaks grammar. Every time a grammar is made or broken, illusion likewise is born or dissolved. Like everything else, illusion is also an offspring of truth and like everything else, illusion also dissolves in Truth.
Guru is Truth itself. That is why he is able to create illusion and negate illusion. He operates independently in the matrix of the already existing grammar of illusion. He originates another grammar within the framework of existing grammar and by doing so baffles its function and breaks its credibility. Such actions of Guru, we call miracles, and I have observed Doctor performing them in two ways-sometimes very discreetly and sometimes very explicitly. His discreet miracles, he performed in order to give to the person concerned, relief from a stifling crisis and his explicit miracles he performed  in order to prove to men the relativity of the laws of nature  and the supremacy of Truth over it.’

‘Doctor’s comment rang in my ears and I broke down and wept, realizing for the first time, how unbearable for me it was to meet his dissent. I had always acted according to my own sweet will; and it was a revelation to me that I could never will to act against the wish of my master.’

‘When one surrendered himself to doctor, Doctor controlled his future and their future was no more in the hands of destiny.’

Those That I Enjoyed Reading

‘as he introduced doctor to me –I rose from my seat as spontaneously as Pilate did when Christ walked in. ----When he rose to leave I felt a sudden pang of despair.’

“Could he be my guru too”, I thought. A, Murali and I were together that day.” Shall we find out?” we asked one another.” We shall sit and call him in unison through telepathy. If he is our guru, he should respond, Shouldn’t he”, we told ourselves. Not that we knew much about telepathy though. The three of us sat and concentrated on him for about five minutes, requesting him to come. Then I went downstairs for lunch.

After about half an hour, I went back to A’s room-well, Doctor was there. That was the most tangible moment of ecstasy in my life. As soon as I saw him, I stood awe-struck, as wave after wave of sweet relief drenched and soothed my tired mind. I had found him atlast.The search was over. How long, how long, how many births perhaps, had I waited for him? All those thorns of longing and despair now turned into a valley of dancing flowers, singing with the breeze the refrain of joy. I walked towards him, as if in a trance. He was facing the other side and when I reached him, all I could offer him was silence.

” I was sitting and reading, when you called me”, he said softly. “Now that you know, you can call me like this, don’t do it unnecessarily”, he added.

“Then, is my attachment to you, bondage?”.” No”, he said” this is not bondage”.

‘Doctor was and is very possessive of his disciples.’

‘He would have perhaps thought,” However my child, it is I who is going to give you though you may go ahead and ask the stone”.

“Any question?” Doctor would ask. The moment he left us the questions would prop up one by one.

“The next day I wanted to thank doctor for what he gave me in my dream. I could not meet Doctor that day. So when one of Doctor’s disciples who regularly visited Doctor in order to help him in his clinic, met me that evening. I wrote a big’ Thank You’ in his palm and requested him to show it to Doctor. The disciple later told me that Doctor looked at it and smiled.

‘Yenedham Puritham--------Sivam Avvyayam’.The couplets went on and on in my mind beginning and ending only to begin again. That day I met Doctor. -----I was silent as usual, all the more so, since I was repeating the couplet within myself. Suddenly Doctor turned to my side, “What are you going to gain by telling yourself’Aham Brahmasmi’over and over again?” he asked, knitting his eyebrows. I was stunned for a moment and then thought, ‘How nice to have a Guru!’.

‘In the innermost chamber, I saw Doctor in full splendour and brilliance. I saw him as the Lord of the Universe. Lord! How can I describe the joy and the relief that I experienced that moment! That moment I was somehow totally erased and yet allowed to blossom in fullness. The metamorphosis was now complete. The erstwhile caterpillar was now out of the cocoon beholding its heavenly colours and its spreading wings. ‘I am not of this world’-it fluttered ‘I am immortal, for love is immortal’

‘Rama Iyengar had added, “I will be able to know more of him only if he wishes to reveal himself to me. Please ask him to take care of me”.

‘In some of my very close friends and associates I saw likeness of certain
zeroed in on doctor. My heart skipped a beat and I froze in anticipation of the one last conclusion that was waiting for me round the corner. At precisely that moment Doctor walked in. After a long silence, I found my voice and asked him.

“Doctor, may I ask you a question?”

“No!” he said in a measured tone.

‘How shall I tell the world that he is here, I thought ‘.

‘Yes Doctor, how shall I salute thee, for now I’m aware that I am not different from thee.’

‘You can never beat him. Whatever you may do you will lose. If he has taken you as his disciple you will ultimately lose to him, whether willingly or unwillingly. Lose-for that is the most beautiful thing that can happen to you .For, with him, to lose is to succeed.’

‘Once again he spoke to me in the language of silence.” My dear child, I have been trying to speak to you –only you have been too disturbed to listen. I have not departed. I have risen. I will soon be back. Wait for me”.
“Doctor is Lord Vishnu”, he proclaimed unafraid, “and all these are His flock”, he said, pointing to Doctor’s disciples. “Doctor is reclining there”, he said pointing to the room, “as Lord Ranganatha; how fortunate you are mother, to have borne in your womb, the Greatest!” he exclaimed melting before Doctor’s mother. Paying his respect to Doctor’s parents he once again began to sing in ecstasy:

‘Oh King Nandagopa, who heartily gives away food, water and clothes to the needy! Wake up!’

Queen Yasodha-the choicest of the graceful and the most auspicious of the clan! Wake up to light!’

‘Here I must speak of the greatness of his lotus feet. Many of his disciples have had the fortune of pressing his feet in order to relieve him of pain. Though in the beginning we started doing it for his sake, we have all experienced an inexplicable joy and relief while doing so. The comprehension of peace and surrender was easier this way.’

‘He had made me withdraw to the throne of the ‘Witness-consciousness’ from where nothing mattered and why did he do all this in spite of the unruly climate that prevailed around me- was it not because of his sacred heart that ebbed with compassion? Well, then I too will not deny his heart by erasing mine. I shall be and have my heart-And he shall abide in that lotus-Doctor is, therefore I am.

Those That Moved My Heart

‘He came to me when I was drowning in the whirlpool of despair. He came to me like a spring after a very long winter. He came to me, when like every spiritual aspirant, I was looking for the guide on whom I could pin my faith and let things happen-I was too much for me to manage.----Who would understand the malady of this patient and who would understand this sickness?—The Doctor came’.

‘How can a name, a mere name thrill the self to such an octave in ecstasy? How can a form silence the mind and drink of the heart so absolutely? His name and form did this.’

“Thank you Doctor, for all that you have given me”, I murmured, for the most beautiful moments of my life had been those that were concerning him. Fourteen years ago he had met me at the crossroads of life to make me wholesome. He walked with me through storm and fire, through woods and orchards, sometimes sheltering me, sometimes infusing me with strength, sometimes rebuking me for my inconsistency, but always measuring his steps to suit my lack of speed and inexperience. If I was sick, I called him. If I had a problem I sought him. If I had a secret I confided in him. If I made a mistake I confessed to him. If I had a doubt, I cleared it with him. If I made a discovery I shared it with him. If I had to take a decision I consulted him.

These fourteen years, whatever I did, I did without hesitation because my master stood by me, and in every way I reflected his strength, his beauty and his confidence. Now he had taken leave as inconspicuously as he had entered my life and I felt lonely again.

‘To me, of all his miracles the most miraculous is his patience .What other adjective could be more befitting to describe the concealment of such ability during even such trying circumstances as those that he personally faced?’

Those That Stirred MyAthman (SOUL)/Storm In The Soul

‘I saw nothing that he saw but I saw Him; and I knew Him instantly. I knew His pain and in the knowing, I blossomed once again in love. If He was in pain I became the prayer. If He was in thirst I melted as ice. If He was alone, I knelt down to join Him’.

‘I asked him (Sage Atri) a few questions and only one of them I remember now.
“Why does Doctor have to suffer so much?”-I asked.

“He will have to bear the burden till some more who can share it arrive”, he said.’

‘One day the so alarmingly high and a week later, so surprisingly normal, that he is now a medical puzzle. What is he suffering from? He is suffering for us, his disciples. Having taken us into his fold he bears our burdens as well.’

“Do you take upon yourself all our suffering?” I asked Doctor.

“No. I do not take all of it. I allow you to take as much as you can withstand. What you cannot withstand I take it upon me”, he answered.

I was moved.

‘What his disciples could not take, he took upon himself and suffered it. If the suffering was at the physical level, he suffered it physically, thus taxing his fragile frame and exerting his already over-worked spleen. If the suffering was at an emotional level, he suffered that too.Yes, emotions, he too had-only he did not exhibit them. Though the master, he still allowed himself to be humiliated. I had somehow been able to sense that this man had taken a lot of humiliation.’

‘The eternal catalyst that he is, Doctor’s work will never really be over. If all the disciples had strictly followed his prescriptions without troubling him, Doctor need not have had to struggle under the weight of their actions and inaction.’

‘He recited it. (The song’Kuzhaludum’-composed by him in the last few days).He enjoyed every word of it and by the time he finished it his eyes were flooded with tears.’

“I have a plan”, he had told me the previous Wednesday, the day I had met him last, the day prior to the day he was hit on the road.

“I don’t want to reveal it; let it materialize.

If I reach a stage where I have to be totally dependent on the others, I will disappear”.

“Do not worry, I will not abandon you. I will take care of you”, he added.

Those That Inspire / Give Life To Hope

“Would you say that you would believe me only if you touched and felt my person?” he had asked Shantha one day; “St.Thomas would not believe that Jesus had resurrected until he was allowed to touch Jesus and feel his wound. Would you also do the same thing?” he had asked her.

‘The world is now at the threshold of a miracle that the saints and the good men have been waiting for, for hundreds of years. When Christ reappeared, the communication net-work was insufficient to alert the world that was slumbering in ignorance. It took centuries for His message to permeate to the whole world-but this time it would not be so. The whole world shall see the coronation of the Lord.

“Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done,

On earth as it is in heaven”.

‘Yes! Doctor will come back; the hero will reappear in the climax and nemesis will strike the evil-doers and non-believers. This is a drama which is being staged by the Super-humans and the purpose of the play is to uphold righteousness and to reveal to the forgetting world that man is governed from above.’

‘He inspires me to say, that with the turn of a page the scene changes and Doctor re-appears.’

‘So I await; I wait for the reappearance of the catalyst. I wait for the new design to emerge.’

“And ye now therefore have sorrow: but I will see you again,
And your heart shall rejoice and your joy no man taketh
from you”.

By Jani
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